Comparetto Comes Back from the Bathroom, and Speaks of his Leavings.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “It was a really long piss.”

I told him no shit, that was a long piss. He told me he was having prostate issues.

“At such a young age?” I said.

He said yeah, and steered the conversation to some of his ( Read more... )

 
            Bill Badalamente knurled through the reams of paper slips, receipts, notes, the yellow legal pads with lists of encrypted names and dates - locations. His olive toned fingers delicately turning each artifact over to the other side of the manila folder. A pencil in the breast pocket of his plaid longsleeve buttondown, his mouth curled ( Read more... )

            Bill Badalamente hung up the phone in his glass windowed foreman office, and scratched at his salt and pepper colored mutton chop sideburns. He went to his steel grey file cabinet in front of the wood paneled wall, the wall away from the windows, and opened the middle drawer with a greased metallic hiss.

Even though it was ( Read more... )

            It was true. Henge had hubris, per se. Clint Dossier’s observations were right, at least from a far. Hubris, that expression originating from the Greek: a classical crime of pride, of gloating. Henge’s hubris, however, was a rare case of preemptive gloating. A sort of bragging prior to victory, which in modern parlance has become the ( Read more... )

 
            Well folks, Clint Dossier here again.

Yes, I know.

Well, I feel that quotation marks keep us apart sir. Sir I want you to feel as if we are good friends. Yes sir. Well, sir, I don’t rightly know.

In Charleston we do nothing of the sort sir. No.

The Yankees who come down on holidays sir.

( Read more... )

            Clint Dossier here again folks. 
            Yes, it has been a while. 
            Been reading up a bit on this whole Lake Me thing. What you all think? I will tell you something, and I do have a few colleagues up at Milton University, I will tell you I am not extraordinarily familiar with southwestern Ohio ethnobotany practices.

( Read more... )

A Cinquian About a Message From Spiritual

Note from

Spiritual:

Said I need to quit the

Other stuff and finish the

Lake Me.

William Comparetto

© 2007

Alpha base, Bravo, copy on the vagrant masturbator over.

“Roger that Bravo,” Deborah said.

Our twenty, the radio said, is Lake Me shore, we have suspects surrounded, the radio paused. May request state trooper back up. Please stand by alpha.

“Roger that ( Read more... )

 
Bill Comparetto, You Need to Stop Right Now.

Yeah Comp, listen, the hoots you’ve been hollering aint right now

It’s a fan base son, you know that, put down the gun

Meta phickshun aint fun for dunderheaded spite humps

Bill, get a grip.

Your Lake Me thing aint hip

Stop saying things like “minchia” as a verbal crutch.

Find a new pair of clownshoes

Get a ( Read more... )

 
A Lake Me Sestina

The most probable outcome of Lake Me

Was a hyperbolic fucking lurking

As a deus ex machina ending to that somebitch

All the people involved, bubba

Knew the end of summer was eminent, and wagers

Were the only real way to put notions in that minchia

Some fucking clownshoe of a minchia

Named Rick Hollo was with me

Around the Sorbonne ( Read more... )